Friday, December 9, 2011

who says you can't make a list of relationship expectations?

in chatting with a friend this morning, i frustratingly noted the following:  

i really don't understand why people just can't be up front and honest about what they want and expect from you. i feel like it would make everyone's lives so much easier...

and it's true! especially in relationships! as me and my friend were musing about this, i started thinking: what DO i want/ need/ expect in relationships? perhaps i haven't been as clear as i thought and perhaps it's why we all have trouble. how can i expect someone to meet my expectations if i never make them clear?

so here they are! my relationship expectations:
  • first and foremost, i expect you to be into me for reasons more than you want to get an invite to my pants party. i'm not in it just for the hook up so, if you are, you can hit the road.
  •  second, i expect that, if you initiate talking to me and say that you want to hang out, that you will follow through with what you say and not wuss out when i actually like you and say yes.
  • i expect honesty and not games. do you like me or don't you? i don't waste your time so don't waste mine.
  • going slow is good, stringing me along while you figure things out is not.
  • you need to ask ME out. period. i'll give you the green light all day long, but YOU need to make it happen. i can promise that i will not be an asshole if i say no
  • i need to know that you are into me. texting, chatting, asking me to hang out, actions. these will all do.
  • i expect you to not be confusing. if your words and actions are conflicting, at least be honest about why.
  • i am not perfect. i get scared and insecure sometimes. if you like me, i need you to talk to me, not freak out and clam up.
  • i love sports. you don't have to love them, but going to rebel games will score you brownie points. asking me to leave early will probably make me want to leave YOU.
  • i expect you to take me on dates. that's why they call it dating not staying-in-and-watching-tv-ing (not that i don't love doing that too, but relationships grow from experiences).
  • i expect that you will tell me when it's not working, not just stop texting me one day like an uber douche.
  • i give 110% to things i'm passionate about, but i will give up on you if i feel like i'm getting nowhere.
  • i'm not suzie homemaker, but i'm really rad at other stuff. i need you to be okay with that.
  • i  only want to listen to the good taylor swift songs when we're dating. if i'm relating to 'story of us' and 'forever and always', there is a problem.
  • i REALLY like it when guys are straightforward because i'm really sick of guessing. i'm not madam cleo the mind reader.
okay, so a lot of these seem like silly examples, but they're very true ones. i'm really a very simple person in that i only expect honesty, communication, and for you to have good intentions and be genuinely into me. i realize that i can get dumb sometimes and maybe you do too (i mean, we've all been hurt before), but it's nothing a little communication can't fix. and now you all know exactly where i'm coming from.

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