Sunday, July 24, 2011

things i've learned about dating

well, here i am again: a twentysomething in las vegas, single and fabulous yet again. i really honestly am happy for the most part being unattached. i mean, i have two jobs which keeps me busy enough as it is and i really like my space and being able to come and go as i please without having to think about some guy's feelings. however, i'd be completely lying if i said that i wasn't thinking about love most of my waking hours.
you see, in the last 7 years, i've been engaged and single, i've dated casually and seriously. i've been both uninterested and madly in love. i've been in the happiest and most miserable relationships, both in the last 2 years. i've been the pursuant and the pursued. but love still really seems to make no sense to me. as much as i enjoyed reading "he's just not that into you", love just simply isn't that black and white and i'm finding that attempting to find my own truths is hard because what i've learned in the past seems to just muddy it all up.

at this point, i have realized that there are certain things that i absolutely need and other things that i absolutely will not tolerate. i've begun creating a list of things that i'm trying to keep in mind when it comes to dating:

1. if he takes pictures of himself in his bathroom, he's probably a douche. run as fast as you can.
2. if he doesn't care enough to ask you about yourself, then he's probably too self-centered for you anyway. or he sucks at communicating. either way, this will be problematic at some point.
3. a guy with a good sense of humor is attractive. one who can never be serious is kidding himself.
4. if his idea of dating is staying home all the time and watching reruns, don't waste your time.
5. any guy who doesn't like basketball isn't worth having around (thank you brittany donovan).
6. and for that matter, any guy who isn't into sports is probably too much of a pansy to date me.
7. any guy who doesn't make you want to sing taylor swift loudly in your car is settling
8. steer clear of any guy who is so insecure that he has to have a thousand female facebook friends who post idiotic things on his wall. trust me.
9. if he doesn't think you are the most amazing thing since sliced bread he will probably leave you or cheat on you. or both. just sayin'.
10. any guy who can't define your relationship doesn't really want to be with you
11. if he's thinking about you, you will know it. and i need to know it. and that is NOT needy.
12. just because he thinks you are the most amazing thing since sliced bread, doesn't mean you should date him.
13. the person you date should make you a better person, not a crazy, jealous, insecure one
14. you should never waste your time being with the wrong guy; he's keeping you from meeting the right guy. who probably looks like bradley cooper. what? it could happen (again...)
15. according to this month's cosmopolitan magazine, i am justin timberlake's dream girl. what are you waiting for justin? i'm totally available right now ;0)

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